this is where i dwell

i dont have a rhyme in my mind or a song in my chest but im still tryin to sing.
protecting what this shell holds might be a mistake but as long as im unsure i dont know any other way. ive lost much hope in things and i dont want to run away from this but i dont want to stay here. we dont belong, you and i, and im finally feeling the things ive put away on these shelves fall on my feet. unexpected. the numbing, and at times, throbbing that follows through these tiny little toes. never and always are the two extremes that we face and as i always wanted you, you never wanted me. so we sit here pretending that you did and not thinking just feeling and as long as im not realizing what i want and need and at times deserve, i will just forget it all. because feeling the illusion of belonging, to me, right now, is better than feeling the lonliness until i find the substance of my worth. whats the point of having something that is never used. you deserve to be with someone that you love as equally as they love you. i want that for you. and for me.