there is this frustraition
in the pit of my belly
sinking lower and lower
and i soon it will be the gravity
in my feet.
but i dont want it to be.
it is keeping me from laughter
and floating with joy
and its holding me back from a
friendship that is hidden within
these walls of books without a title
or burried in the back yard in the sandbox
only it has lessoned to a tiny grain of sand
when it used to overflow the box with
castles and beauty.
i wish i could feel the sadness more often
than i feel the anger.
i wish that i cared more to get over the things
that and hanging me up
but i wont.
making ammends and then never changing
im tired of it and i dont want to try it again
so maybe i will just go on living
with you in my surroundings
with you in my old journals
and my dated words
and my past photographs
and with you not in my heart...
