life is just a series of thoughts as we travel between place to place trying to find something worth our time.
worth being an opinion of approval not necessarily that of enjoyment.
ive found trouble with 'living IN the moment'. my mind is rarely in the place that my body dwells. extremes are the rare exception. intense pain or sadness, or an abundance of joy. not happiness... joy. two extremes which i have not experience in some time.
joy: the SOURCE. not just the effect
happiness:Being especially well-adapted
ADAPTED> im not adapted to anything at all. constantly floating inbetween circles and squares and dead ends and endless roads and nothingness and hints of hope. enough to keep my alive.
building walls and getting frustraited when i cant find the time or a way to tear them down again. unlovable and frustrated. dig dig dig. deep deep deep.
and find what isnt something you want to find..
so so so obsolete.
directionless.breakdown.saveme.jumpstart.areyoualive?breathlessandsearching...
