so anxious
TO LOVE. to be completely in love.
so anxious
TO LEARN. to learn how to live a new day tomorrow.
to know somone elses train of thought
MY HEART IS POUNDING
out of excitement and HOPE that
there is so much DEPTH in the every day
and also so much SIMPLICITY.
does simplicity enable you
to go deeper in thought about
the REAL. the TRUE. the things that matter?
"a pretty shoe, a dirty soul"
i wish so much that everyday
could be like this night has been
full of intense conversation full of emotions
and complex feeling.
it makes life WORTH LIVING.
its a breakthrough, its not just a
'so it seems' guestimate
its raw, its real.
even if you realize you are a HYPOCRATE
or a BEAUTIFUL SOUL.
both of which i have found the past few days..
the breakdown of all the nonsense of everyday
is REFRESHING.
i want to hang onto these
feeeeeeeeeeelingssssss
that there is so much MORE to people
than what the BLANK STARES reveal.
i have almost grasped a concept that
i didnt even know was inside of me.
i have learned so much about
who i am and what other
LOVELY SOULS have been thinking and feeling.
i want to go to stella's and
talk over coffee for hours.
about ANYTHING. no actually... everything.
i feel like i have reached a certain level of clarity... and it may
not even be that clear. but. it. is. new.
its stretching my heart to HOPE in a different way than we are
so used to being taught.
i want to write everything in my head down on these pages..
only i cant pin point any of them.
MAYBE
its just that everything is going to be alright.
no matter whether or not
i know where i am going.
is it a peace that i feel?
or is it satisfaction in knowing
that its not in my hands, and really never was.
DO YOU feel what i feel?
do you love what i love?
do you see what i see?
.... if you do... it isnt the way i see it.
you dont have my eyes..
but. you do have many pieces of my heart.
and my heart and mind have been close friends
for a while now.
wake up you're alive
I FEEL ALIVE.
not by feeling happy or amazing,
but knowing that i do feel.
i havent given up...and wont.
