i spent last night watching strangers' hands touch
and small feet swiftly glide across
the creaky wooden floors.
i watched expressions of beautiful faces
flow from eyes that reveal the soul
to their fingertips,
to the souls of their dancing feet
even their hip movement had emotion.
i watched people have passion about
something so beautiful
...it moved me
i viewed letting go in the most perfect way.
i experienced kindness of familiar faces.
Jeff buckley's So Real replaced the empty sound
in my car on the drive home down the
2lane street polka dotted with pot holes
10:30. i finally go to sleep at a decent hour
without pills that fool my mind into sleep.
victory in so many ways yesterday.
i do admit. i felt inadequate.
watching these people feel with all
that they have inside of them.
it was a motivating factor that
produced in me a longing to
pursue something in me.
a form of beauty that
i will have to learn. and let go.
i was able to make a list of things i want to do
for the first time.
i could pinpoint some exact things
i want to happen
it made me question, have i been holding
onto the dreams of the past
when they have faded out.
have i been wanting something
that wasn’t complete honesty in my heart.
THESE are the things i KNOW i want to do,
to be, become, that i want to experience...
_learn how to dance, well. but more importantly, how to follow
_open a coffee shop
_do photography full time
_join the peace corp
_learn hip hop
_publish a photo book
_publish a work of writings
_buy a little home to call my own
_travel all the time.. not just once in a while
_live in brazil, africa, new zealand...
_be satisfied with the simple things in life
_have the same best friends when im an old granny
_be a great mom and have a husband as great as my dad is
_take singing lessons
...when i figure out more, there will be more to come
