insrumental music makes me ponder...it doesnt sway my thoughts one way or another..it just guides them with beauty.
today was..an up and down day.
its hard for someone close to your heart hurt in a way that you have never hurt before.
its hard to not know how to comfort someone enough...but want so badly to help in some way.
memories flood like a damn has broken in my mind, that was holding all of them back... the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful.
its like knowing its going to snow...and prepairing for it...but hoping that it will only rain. because i hate the snow.
how awesome would it be to start a coffee shop. not to get rich or to compete with the ever so popular starbucks... i want to open one souly for the people. the minds, the souls, the perspectives, the dreams, the characters, the troubles, the heart-aches, the joy, the interests of people's lives. i was sitting in a coffee shop with my best friend today and i felt so welcomed. i was sitting on a couch and felt like i was at home...even though it was an awkward place for a couch to sit.
we have so much power inside of ourselves to change the way people feel and think...yet most of the time we are too concerned about ourselves and how we feel that we never stop to realize that that smile you held back could have made someone's heart smile. it might have put a little piece of hope back into their heart that they so desperately needed.
i have this overwhelming longing to know people..
even though some may think im lazy for not going to school right after highschool... i am happy. i absolutly love working where i work. even though it is looked down upon by many people.. the name of it is not the reason i work there. starbucks. i could care less about... i look forward to the regulars. even though i may know them by their drink... i get excited when i get to visit with them for that 5 minutes of their day on the way home from work.
love. i still have no idea what it is. all i can compair it to that makes any sense is "love is patient love is kind, love does not envy or boast, it keeps no record of wrongs, love never fails...." there is more but my bible is upstares.
seeing close friends always makes my heart smile.
i hung out with a really good friend tonight...and i've realized how much ive missed his company.
and seeing another amazing friend of mine be so happy with a new girl... i cant tell you how happy i am. really.. im excited for him. very much.
i love it when my friends are happy. i love sharing in joy for them...
its strang..and i know im using a lot of bible refferences but.. there is this verse that says "rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn for those who mourn." and that couldnt relate to me any better than it does right now.
they are so opposite but i feel like today... it was exactly that.
im learning how to be sensitive... and to just not say anything... just to hold hands and know that thats all that needs to be done.
this is really long...... see what explosions in the sky provokes. man... listen to them. they are absolutly amazing. the earth is not a cold dead place after all...............................................
