i got 4 hours of sleep last night.
and not the great, fulfulling sleep.
the tossing and turning kind.
and now i am here, in a foreign place
and familiar objects.
i hear it smells like rain but
i have no windows to see
for myself.
i have the bitter tasts
of espresso in attempts to keep
my eyes open for 4 more hours.
my mind doesnt work in number form
without rest in my body.
why is the light so much warmer and yellow
inside this tiny place?
it always seems to be that way.
..there is this overwhelming desire
to know people and who they are
and where they have been,
and where they are going.
what was their childhood like?
did they love completely?
did they build forts and make
mud pies like i did?
. it scares me .
to think what childhood will be like
for my children and grandchildren.
i dont want them to be addicted to technology.
technology ROBS your MIND of IMAGINATION.
Will my little girl want to be like that
supermodel on the runway,
that famous, over publicized pop sing,
or her mommy?
i get stressed out just thinking about
the AMAZING ability to
shape a childs mind.
there is so much pressure in having children...
i dont want mine to be bitter.
i want them to love with
ALL of their hearts.
i want to be a mom that has
ALL the time in the world for them
even when they are teenagers
and young adults
and dont have time for me..
i want to have mother/daughter talks
that last forever
at our usual old coffee shop
where they know us by name and
make our normal cup of joes.
i want my kids to cherish the "out-dated"
ways of thinking.
i want them to carry on and believe in
the traditional and "old fashioned" way
of doing things,
how to to be loved, how to live.
i want them to have hearts that
break for people when they are going
through hell.
i want them to be faithful friends,
loyal souls.
..... i have to pee so bad it is starting to hurt!!!
3 more hours!!!
2:20pm - people are bitches
2:24pm - people are nice, even thought i cant hear what they are saying
3:12pm - im a fan of good looking guys being nice and having beards
3:24pm - i just checked the time 5 times in the last 2 minutes......
