remember when i said i dont know,
well i still dont. but i want to.
the needles wore the grooves too deep.
im tired and last night i felt very alone,
but it was my own fault because
i didnt go to that party i said i would.
that hard lemonade just sat on the counter
because i dont usually drink,
and when i do i like it to taste good
and i dont do it to get drunk.....
i like being in control too much..... and sometimes
that is a bad thing...
my mind is blank, my heart it hurting, and i dont
know where the fuck i should go and
this same story is getting old..
not knowing.
the cake i made today was patched up with extra icing
and red frosting letters written by what looked to be a 2 year old
but it tasted good.
i wish i showed that family is more important to me than i reveal.
im hungry but i probably wont eat,
oh of distractions.
and damn........ i forgot that cardboard.
its always freezing in my house and i probably should consider myself lucky for that.
i day dream about winter these days and i have never
liked winter before now.
i miss my friend.
two from distance in the miles between
and one from the distant miles of the heart.
im hungry...and maybe i will go eat.
maybe.......
